cloud 
i had been struggling for the past days, weeks and month..
its draining me real badly...
and i hated myslf...
i hated how emotinally fragile i had becum...
i hated almost eytin bout myslf...hated juz how life punk wif me..
how i m losing sth that i had put so much effort in for the past years...
i m growing to indulge in self pity against myslf...
Maybe i hadnt been putting in that much as i had tot i had...
maybe i had been living in a world of self-denial...self fantasy...
many times i juz wanted a gd firm hug from my family or frens...
juz to ensure me that eytin is gg to be ok...
all in all i had been pathetic...
i feel lousy...
guess i had been pathetic to long...its time to grow strong...
and i will try...