77 days after leaving my job, to being a part time SAHM.
Being a SAHM doesn’t come naturally to me.
It’s physically, mentally and emotionally straining and more exhausting than any job I’ve ever had, not that i have many.
It brings out the extreme emotions in me and i wonder if i should be in therapy of sorts,
put on whisky drip or mayb just admit that i wasnt cut out to do this.
The work never ends, but thankfully it’s possible to take a break when mummy is just a 15mins drive away.
Many days I have to refrain from going back to my old job.
I was satisfied with my job, though its not the best paying with the best working hours.
But the commitment and effort put in it, was not just the glitz and glamour people saw
It took us 6 years to bring us from the red to double turnover in 3 successive year of growth,
from an almost non exisitant store front, to one of the top 10 shoes and jewelry store ww - beating some of bigger stores.
The adrenaline and satisfaction i got, no one can understand.
I was a financially independent, confident professional–a stark contrast to what I’ve become.
While I understand that the money my husband earns is “our” money, but my name isnt on the slip.
After 10 years of earning my own pay, I struggle with asking my husband for money.
Sadly, my sense of identity and ego have been altered dramatically.
I am a capricorn -
I worry I’ve lost the credibility I spent years establishing.
Yes, I understand that I’m lucky, just how many women would love to be in my shoes.
But sometimes it can be challenging to frequently struggle to stomp down
the negativity that bubbles to the surface
I’m not sure when I’ll go back to work outside the home.
Instead of jumping back into the office world, i hope to start my own stuff and see if I can.
Ok, done with my ranting, back to my love.